To Know and To Not Know

December 30th, 2022

Hi friends,

Often time we find it easy - or speaking for myself - I find it easy to have this subconscious notion that I understand and know what people want.

Usually, I think we do this mainly to the people we love. That usual thought process, that assertion of: "Oh, I've known the person forever," "I know what they want," "I know what they need," and oftentimes, this works because we do know the person. But sometimes, it can be a terrible thing as well.

I myself have had the chance to learn this lately deeply. I thought I knew someone, that I knew what they had wanted, that they didn't need me to say something or that they wanted to hear something I say when in fact, they don't.

I found out that maybe they are not wanting what I think they want. That maybe it is better to always ask them what they want before acting on it. For, in the end, the things we do, say, or do not say directly affect them, which then, in a close relationship, will also affect us.

We can stay silent because we think they want to be left alone, while in reality, they might need the comfort we bring more than we know.

We can be loud and say, "You should do this," or "I know her; she definitely would want this," while in reality, they don't want us to speak for them, that what they wish for might lonely be our silent presence for the moment.

So, friends, I hope you were able to learn this with me today, or even better if you have already learned this and live with mindfulness for others. But then again, I am thinking that I know what you want to learn!

For me, I know I will keep this in mind and be mindful of others before I act upon them.

d.s.l.